Solo v Group


My comparative experience of stroking my own cock versus being stroked by others after thousands and thousands of instance of both.

The following poll was posted on BateWorld recently and it evoked a long response from me that I feel compelled to share. I know that I have way more experience on this topic than most men, but please remember that one man’s perspective is always subjective, based on one man’s sexual response, taste, attitude, opportunity and resources. Your mileage is certain to vary.

Here’s the poll, followed by my response.


Created on 4/9/2023

Question: Which do you prefer, masturbating yourself OR having another man masturbate you?

  1. I prefer masturbating myself!
  2. I prefer another man masturbate me!
  3. I prefer either one, thank you!
Animated GIF of me sitting in my office chair with a very erect, twitching penis standing up between my spread legs as I pause during a camming session and feel the pleasure of intense arousal.


tl;dr I enjoy both very much but I prefer solosex.

I have the minority view that masturbation is solosex and handjobs are partner sex. Very different mind/body mechanisms are at play in each instance. I consider the term, “mutual masturbation” a misnomer.

That aside, I enjoy both sexual activities very much, but the biggest difference is the compatibility factor. I am 100% compatible with myself. I know my penis better than anyone, know exactly how to edge my own penis, vary cadence, pressure and zone stimulation, time my pauses, ruin my orgasms, choose if, when and where I ejaculate, and I’m always available.

Receiving a handjob is always a gamble. Yes, the elements of novelty and surprise are usually features rather than bugs, but like every sex act I enjoy, my pleasure and my chances of reaching orgasm are far, far less a given. In general, I know in seconds whether I’m going to enjoy this myself or whether this is entirely me allowing the other(s) to enjoy my penis (see “GGG“).

I can only share my perspective based on my personal sexual responses and preferences, but I manage a thriving jack-off club and as my members know, I join the party almost every time, which alone accounts for over 500 group masturbation events, each with me experiencing mutual “masturbation” with multiple men. I also attend other JO clubs and have been the recipient of many erotic massages from experienced pros (which doesn’t bypass the compatibility factor at all) so my penis has been stroked by literally thousands of friendly hands over decades, and probably 20,000 solosex sessions. I’ve also had my penis inside a good number of buttholes and mouths. I absolutely know what I like.

99.9% of my solosex is “highly successful,” in that I experience high levels of sexual joy, intense pleasure and can reliably orgasm and ejaculate as I please. When I cam, I experience the witness and interaction of other men on screen as a welcome enhancement, but I consider this enhanced solosex, shared and mutual but still masturbation. Likewise, I like to masturbate with another guy without us touching each other’s cocks.

Roughly 40% of handjobs are, for me, successful, just 10% are highly successful. About 20% of handjobs fail for absolute incompatibility.

About 70% of skilled milking experiences are successful, most of them highly so.

About half of mutual experiences, where one partner and I stroke each other simultaneously, are successful and I prefer taking turns giving and receiving pleasure so we can each focus on the unique sensations, but I almost always want to сum by my own hand with my buddy stroking my balls or cumming on them or playing with my hole.

So that’s my long-ass answer. As a binary choice of what I prefer, it’s my hand on my own penis.

Postscript: None of this should be viewed as an argument against shared experiences of all kinds. I would not continue to seek out so much group and partner experience if I didn’t find enduring, comprehensive, and positive value in it.