The penis is a fascinating piece of biological architecture. It’s so loaded with neurons that it’s no wonder the ongoing joke is ‘thinking with the little head’. It’s also fascinating how each of us responds to different types of touch, and I’m only talking about touching the dick. For some of us, incredibly light touch is incredibly erotic while a heavy grip is right up their with suffocation. For others, it’s the opposite: softness is bland and doesn’t register, instead needing a solid meaty stroke.
Those preferences for sensation can inhibit us, preventing us from being able to engage more fully in eroticism. Preference for sensation can prohibit us from recognizing the different parts of the penis and how to tickle their fancy in ways that do away with softness vs. hard intensity. It can even box us in: one acquaintance could only orgasm by rubbing against a pillow or by topping another guy; another gent could only orgasm if he used a specific type of lube; yet another gent could only orgasm if his dick had a death grip and was stroked in a very, very particular way.
Often these fixations limit us in how we enjoy each other, or even just enjoy ourselves when pleasure is in our own hand(s). It seems there may be a lot of emphasis or expectation placed on orgasming/ejaculating (‘aka the destination’), instead of enjoying the eroticism of getting there (aka ‘the journey’). Here are some techniques that can make masturbating yourself or others a bit more erotic:
‘Tickling the Fancy’ : there is a ridge of tissue on the ventral (lower) side of the penis; it is pleasantly sensitive and warrants just as much attention as the glans (head). There are two subtle techniques you can use here: a) finger drumming and b) finger feathering. Finger drumming is where your dominant hand’s fingertips face upwards, under the dick. Starting with the ring finger, then the middle finger, then the index finger, lightly tap the ridge by oscillating the fingers one after the other. This can be uniquely erotic and pairs well with stroking the testes, perineum, etc. Feathering is somewhat similar: dominant hand’s fingers face up, palm open, on the underside (ventral) ridge, and oscillate ring, middle, index in an upward (towards the head/glans). However instead of drumming, the oscillation Is more of a three-fingered stroke-stroke-stroke towards the head. Think of a motion similar to wafting a smell towards your nose, but each finger is wafting, wafting, wafting. Feathering is really helpful with lube, while drumming benefits from no lube.
‘Flicking the Lighter’ : the glans (head) of the penis is incredibly sensitive, and the ridge that runs around the glans is no different. Where the ridge meets at the ‘top’ of the head is uniquely sensitive. It makes this tiny pocket of flesh right next to the opening for the urethra (or ‘pee hole’). When flicked very gently like flicking the wheel of a cigarette lighter, can be incredibly arousing. Using the tip of your index finger—a bit of lube is helpful—press gently just below where the ridge of the glans meets the urethra hole. Make the tiniest stroke with the index finger towards the hole, like a paintbrush flicking a bit of paint onto canvas, and repeat that motion repeatedly and rapidly. The sensation is a lot like a tongue gently licking right at that point and it’s exciting when done right.
‘Stick Shifting’ : this can be wonderfully and ridiculously overwhelming, because it overloads the mind with intense pleasure waves. Plenty of lube is necessary to make this work (so if you salivate like no tomorrow, great! Otherwise, use another lubricant). Start by getting the dick hard, REALLY hard. . .then cup your hand around the glans like you’re forming an ice-cream scoop. Keep this shape and stroke around the glans like you were polishing the head of a stick shift. Keep doing that as the intensity builds and builds and builds. Ease off and stroke the dick shaft with a fairly tight grip as you build up intensity in a different way. Go back to polishing the head and work at it until you can’t stand it anymore. Stroke the dick shaft until it seems like you’re getting close to orgasming and IMMEDIATELY switch back to polishing just the head. Repeat this until you (or your partner(s)) can’t take anymore and then let loose with one incredibly well-built up orgasm.
Try these out by adding them to your solo or duo sex repertoire and see how they fit. Different styles like these can take some practice to enjoy and incorporate, mostly because we are usually most comfortable with what we are already familiar with. Trying different techniques is fun and, after all, variety is the spice of life.